Do Not Resuscitate

On Monday afternoon, an elderly gentleman with a thoracoabdominal aortic aneurysm on the verge of rupture was admitted to our SICU. He underwent a few major operations previously, and did not want another one. Also, he did not have the money to use better medical supplies, and he had an idea of what his prognosis was. He wanted nature to take its course.

I suggested that he reconsider his decision, and then asked him to look out of the window to acknowledge that he may never see what he was seeing again. He did not hesitate to state that he had nothing to look forward to, and that he had lived long enough.

I handed to him his DNR form, and he signed it. At that time he was not very well, but could still converse easily.

Two hours later I was called to start CPR on him, unexpectedly. The CPR was ordered by his children, who unfortunately did not make it before their father passed away. By the time I arrived, he was stone dead. So fast. CPR and defibrillation were continued for 30 minutes but were in vain, of course.

A few hours later before he was sent to the morgue, I was called from my sleep to remove his endotracheal tube. They removed everything and even deflated the balloon, but reserved for me the duty of pulling the thing out. Totally ridiculous. I was called to pull out an ETT from a cadaver, which took 5 seconds.

Time is precious

Dermatology = Swim

Rehabilitative Medicine = Drive

Many nights = Should I travel before internship?

A part of me envy those who love nothing but work.

Birthday

Hometown? - Hong Kong

For the past two weeks I've been eating a lot of good stuff. I had someone to do my laundry and tidy up after me. I'm going to miss all that pampering.

This time my new home was tidier and sufficiently renovated. The weather was good. My brother and sister are doing well. Things were generally okay for me. 

This time going home was different. The multitude of black-suited figures and the tense parade of high heels have always defined the central business district of Hong Kong, just that I never paid attention to such details. I couldn't help comparing the people scurrying around in IFC and those I see on the streets of Taichung. It's just different. I could have done better, and I guess I deserved more than what I have now. Just that I'll have to work harder. It's just weird when you see your ex-counterparts thriving while you're living in another less developed world. Not that Taichung is really backwards, but it's of course not as adrenaline-infused as Central. I guess it's OK to be contented with what you have, but just don't lower your standards too much.

I don't know how to put this, but I guess I need to reboot some sectors of my life.

I guess I'm doing OK on the whole. Room for improvement is available though.

The Meaning of Christmas

by Sonia Choquette

If in spite of ambivalent feelings you keep on celebrating the Christmas holiday, it could be because of its hidden meaning.

There is a lot of controversy and confusion in people's minds over Christmas and its meaning both in our personal lives and in the world

Some people feel it is an exclusively Christian holiday, holding no special meaning for them. Others believe it is nothing more than a feeding frenzy for the free market and an excuse to get people to open their wallets at every turn. Others take the viewpoint that it is a holy day that is cheapened and diminished by all the garish festivities. Yet few, if any, when really pressed, are willing to give up the Christmas holiday, in spite of their ambivalent feelings.

The reason for this is because of the real meaning behind the Christmas season. A meaning that we all somehow psychically feel even though our own intellect doesn't fully comprehend what all the fuss is about.

That hidden meaning is that Christmas is the festival of the human heart. It is a time of year when all the universe conspires to raise the vibratory level of consciousness on earth to one of peace and love toward ourselves and one another. This season resonates to the sweet, childlike innocence that resides in all of us. A time when the heavenly forces inspire us to shift our focus away from fear and toward one of joy, and healing.

The Christmas festival emphasizes this shift in two ways; one is the rebirth of the soul and the second is the return of the light to earth. Even before the rebirth of Christ which centers around our modern day Christmas festival, as far back as recorded history, in fact, these two themes of rebirth and light have emerged again and again during this time of year.

It is as if Divine Consciousness moves forward year after year, during the darkest season, to bring us back to light.

Yet even knowing the true meaning of the Christmas season is not enough to convince some people of its importance. "Peace! Goodwill! Humbug!" they cry just as Scrooge did in the famous Dickens fable. "These are nice ideas but no more than a fantasy. I feel no peace. No goodwill!"

Yet there is a way to feel this vibratory shift. There is a way in which your own heart can experience the love and light pouring into the earth's vibration from Divine Source. That way is to participate in the rituals of the season.

No matter who you are, your heart cannot resist the beauty of an ornamented Christmas tree or the glow of a mysterious menorah. Cynicism gives way to the celebration when carefully preparing holiday sweets or stringing colorful lights around the entrance to your home. Any heart warms to a rousing rendition of "Joy to The World" or the sensuous smell of roasting chestnuts on a crisp winter's eve.

Sadness leaves when carefully choosing gifts to delight and surprise those you love. The heart feels rich and fulfilled as you wrap them in gay paper and bows. For just a while, through partaking of the whim and richness of the season, life takes on an extraordinary hue, one of sweetness and safety. Something psychic and healing happens to our hearts as we enjoy the layer upon layer of these sensual seasonal delights. These rituals open the heart chakra and allow us to feel and express the innocence and beauty of being a child of the universe.

Each occasion we create to feel the vibrations of Christmas helps raise the consciousness of the planet and return it to balance. For every person creating joy, there is one less person in pain.

These are the ways to experience the vibrational shift toward light that occurs during this season.

But there is one more thing you can do to amplify this experience a thousandfold.

That is to enter the season of Christmas with the intention of being a personal messenger of light and love, and celebrate in the name of service to Divine Consciousness

Nothing transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary more directly than the intention to do what ever you are doing with the desire to serve Higher Power.

When we celebrate the season with such an intention and desire, we not only experience Christmas . . . we actually become Christmas: an agent of rebirth of the soul and the bringer of light.

Therefore, the best gift you can give to yourself and the world during this holiday season is a cup of spiced cider, a delicious Christmas cookie, a round of jingle bells, and the gift of self love. So be it.